In honor of the Beastie Boys’ new release, The Hot Sauce Committee Part Two, we’re listening to their first seven albums (in order) and blogging our thoughts. Join us, won’t you, on a B-Boy Odyssey…
Hello Nasty (1998)
The summer after I graduated high school was highlighted by two events, moments that I distinctly remember almost 13 years later:
- June 21, 1998 - Making out with two hot girls from my graduating class. At the same time. No further explanation needed.
- July 1 -Driving more than an hour with friends to Manchester (NH) for the Hello Nasty midnight sale at Newbury Comics.
Summer road trips are magical in New England, the warm night air washing over your face and arms as stars and state highway markers look on. Looking back on it, I was definitely way more excited than I should’ve been for the event. But then again, part of adolescence is magnifying inconsequential events into life-altering experiences. Like the time my ultimate crush (a senior) gave me a ride home from school during my sophomore year. I still remember the smell of her car, and how awesome I felt when she made her friend, who was also a senior, sit in the back while I rode shotgun. Ah, sweet Lauren. OK, now to the album review (for the three of you who’re still reading).
1. Super Disco Breakin’
I remember sitting in my friend’s (parents’) Buick as we headed back home from the midnight sale and hearing the first 10 seconds of the album I’d been awaiting throughout high school. My first reaction was, “Holy shit, this sounds nothing like Check Your Head or Ill Communications. Mixmaster Mike’s presence is immediately felt with the sonic rhythm, and the collection of random samples that follows quickly extinguishes any preconceived notions that Hello Nasty is just a follow-up to the Beasties’ two previous albums. Rather, it mimics Paul’s Boutique with its rapping style and various samples while exhibiting the much improved rhyming abilities the B-Boys developed in the ‘90s. I wouldn’t rank this track in the upper echelon of their catalogue, but it effectively serves as a signal flare for what’s to come.
2. The Move
Mixmaster Mike slows it down a bit on the second track, while the rapping style stays the same with each Beastie throwing in one line at a time, finishing each others’ sentences more than a married couple. I like the way the song changes up midway through, after “In Stereohhhhhhhhhhhhh.”
Dogs love me ‘cause I’m crazy sniffable.
3. Remote Control
Two words. Fuck. Yeah. Just when you think you’ve got their new sound figured out, the gentlemen place a guitar-heavy track that hits you in the face unexpectedly, like some drunk guy who sucker punches you because you’ve been chatting up his girlfriend for 20 minutes even though she acted interested the whole time. And no, this has never happened to me, although I was once shoved by some douchebag at Wonder Bar (Boston) after talking to his girlfriend. I instinctively pushed him back before bouncers broke it up and kicked me out. I waited almost an hour (I think) outside, both for my friends and that guy. The guy came out first, so I stared him down until he walked up to me and said, “Can I help you?” I clenched my fists and said calmly, “You can help yourself by walking away right now.” His friends held him back before I could restructure his face. Or, to quote Adrock, “You’re looking for a fist to put your face in.”
4. Song For The Man
An MCA ballad(?) falls somewhere between another reality show and FOX “News” on the list of things this world needs. I recall JB and I dismissing it as a lame attempt by MCA to get some action. More than 10 years later, I can appreciate his attempt to stand up for women, but still feel the finished product falls flat.
5. Just A Test
If I end up teaching high school (a very real possibility), I hope to play this song before every exam. Studies show exercise improves brain activity, so I envision a three-minute student dance party before handing out the tests. What better way to relax than to do The Sprinkler, The Shopping Cart, or The Wiggle? Grinding will not be allowed.
6. Body Movin’
Sabotage is the obvious choice for No. 1 in the Beasties video collection, but one could make a case for Body Movin’ as their greatest. It’s definitely their most ridiculous, which is the type of humor I often gravitate toward. No other music video has so artfully combined a decapitation (and full recovery) with bunny slippers and a random bird. Mike D is at his theatrical finest when MCA’s character loses his head, and his landing from the sky is hilarious. As for the song, it achieves its goal (see title) with a sound similar to the voice of Dance Dance Revolution, which I believe was just becoming popular stateside when the album was released. Great lyrics on this ditty, and I like the west-coast style of taking turns at the end of the song. Plus, who doesn’t like superhero references?
Flame on!
I’m gone.
I’m so sweet like a nice bon-bon.
Came out rappin’ when I was born.
Mom said rock it till the break of dawn!
7. Intergalactic
Rarely does a band release an album’s best song as the first single. This was one of those times. The long hiatus since their previous LP, the low-budget robot video, and some sick rapping mixed together to create a summer frenzy surrounding Hello Nasty. I can’t think of many songs that feature 16 consecutive rhyming lines (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA rhyme pattern for all you poetry fans), but Intergalactic features it, and features it well. The robotic loop is ridiculously catchy and the changeup for the third verse is perfect. I will always dance my ass off to this song at weddings, and recommend you do the same. Having two friends who can join you helps. Ordering four drinks at a time during the open bar also helps.
8. Sneakin’ Out The Hospital
Not sure if the boys pick up the guitars and drumsticks on this track (or any other on this album), but I like to think they do. The collaboration of instruments and turntables is like Limp Bzkit or Linkin Park, only without the whole suck factor. For those who read my Check Your Head review, this song was the opening to the music video I starred in. The premise was us breaking into the studio, and this song played while we slithered across the parking lot and moved discreetly toward the building. God, I wish I had that video on DVD and/or Youtube.
9. Putting Shame In Your Game
This album’s token angry tune features some suh-weeeet lines, such as, “We’re all connected like a Lego set,” and “I gets 11 points off the word ‘quagmire’.” Mixmaster Mike correctly chooses a simple backdrop to meld with the lyrics, putting the focus on the rapping rather than spinning. Sometimes less is more, and this is a perfect example. Another example? Snuggling.
Transhypnotic.
Robotic.
Can’t stop it.
No limit to this style
and you know you can’t lock it.
10. Flowin’ Prose
This is a song I always skipped in 1998. Some things never change.
11. And Me
For all you Uno fans: Skip! The B-Boys need to stick with rapping and rocking out. Not really sure what the hell this is. The only highlight comes at the end, with a sample seemingly straight from the mouth of Jiminy Cricket:
“You know, I wish that there was some way that I could be outside playing basketball in the rain and not get wet. Now wouldn’t that be great?”
12. Three MCs And One DJ
A great rhyme pattern similar to Intergalactic (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA), albeit much slower and simpler. I remember thinking Sacramento must be a hip town if it’s the capital of California and home to Mixmaster Mike. Five years later, I found myself living in Sac and realized Mixmaster Mike and the 2002 Kings are about the only cool things to ever happen in Sac, unless you count all the AmeriCorps debauchery my friends and I indulged in.
My beats is sick like malaria.
13. The Grasshopper Unit (Keep Movin’)
Most underrated track on the album. Give it another listen. You’ll be pleasantly surprised. I love the sample (not sure who it is) singing, “I gotta keep movin’, mooooovin’ on.” If you don’t find yourself dancing during this song, you should check your hearing aides.
14. Song For Junior
Decent instrumental, and I like the female vocals. The cons outweigh the pros, however, as the mix of back-to-back snoozers and hard-hitting rhymes gives the album a herky-jerky feel, and not in an amazing, Paul Pierce offense way, but rather in a teenager’s first sexual experience way.
15. I Don’t Know
Pass. Twenty-two songs is a bit much for a single CD. Glad they tightened the belt on To The 5 Boroughs.
16. The Negotiation Limerick File
This is my favorite dance song on the album, even though I’ve yet to figure out exactly how to dance to it. All I know is it makes me move. A lot. I think this was the last song I’d listen to before going out during my freshman year of college. And when I say “going out,” I mean drinking in someone’s dorm room or going to some party at one of the many off-campus apartments inhabited by freshmen because UCF only had on-campus housing for about 1,000 students despite boasting a student body of 30,000. Yes, I regret spending a year there, but I got to call Daunte Caulpepper my neighbor!
17. Electrify
More East Coast rhyming, which is definitely impressive, but not as appealing to me as the West Coast style. Oh, and I keep referring to these styles by coast because that’s what I saw in some Beastie Boys documentary on MTV many years ago. I think it was right around the time two of MTV’s greatest shows, Liquid Television and Buzzkill, were popular. For those of you unfamiliar with Buzzkill, it laid the groundwork for shows such as The Tom Green Show, Jackass, and Punk’d. God bless Dave, Travis, and Frank. And Daisy Fuentes’ boobs.
18. Picture This
This rich, smooth song flows like molasses as calming female vocals float above. This is one of the prettiest songs ever released by our favorite Jewish rappers, and I wish I wasn’t too lazy to research who sings it.
19. Unite
Can a song be described as bouncy? If so, this is one example. A perfect video would be multiple jumping situations in which the Beasties are just flying through the air off a trampoline, perhaps doing everyday activities while in the air (drinking coffee, reading the paper, doing back flips, etc.).
20. Dedication
This song feels like it’s placed incorrectly on the album. I think it’s more an opportunity for Mixmaster Mike to show off his skills, which to me feels unnecessary after 19 other songs.
21. Dr. Lee, PhD
Yes, it’s The Upsetter, but I bought my CD to hear the Beastie Boys, not this guy. Speaking of paid money, I can’t stand when fans start singing the lyrics to a song during a show. I paid to hear the band, not the drunken mess behind me. I’ll go to some bar with Karaoke the next time I’m seeking that experience.
22. Instant Death
Interesting way to end the album. Again, I feel like HN should’ve ended at “Unite,” or at least been kept to 20 songs or less. Overall, I’d give this album a B- whereas its two predecessors were solid As. Part of it may be due to the lack of memories tied to this one, as much of it was absorbed my freshman year of college, where I didn’t have a partner in crime who shared my love for the B-Boys. I did, however, have a 6’6” roommate who used to pop his zits into the mirror and leave roaches he’d killed lying around the room. One of the worst moments of my life was when I awoke one night to see him leaning toward the sink mirror and squeezing one of his many whiteheads, popping it and projecting grossness onto the mirror. He then used my face towel to clean up. Absolutely disgusting, and a perfect way to end this review.
Read all parts here.
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